Our Idea of Marriage
What is your definition of marriage? (Photo via wtlphotos, Flickr.com)
I’ve been married for 4 years now. My husband and I married at a very young age. He had just turned 21 and I was only 17 at the time… and pregnant. I was the happiest girl the day my husband proposed to me. We had a blurry idea of what marriage is and what exactly we were getting ourselves into. At that particular moment, in that precise moment in time, all we knew and cared for was that we were going to spend the rest of our lives together.
What is Marriage?
“What is marriage?” asked my mother. “Surely, you must have idea of what marriage is.” What!? Of course I have an idea, I thought to myself. My parents have been married for 25 years. I’ve seen them work through all their ups and downs. I’ve seen the affection they shared, the secret whispers, and sneaked kisses. I have also seen the fight, the struggle, and disappointments. I’ve seen it all. Or have I?
I was still living at home with my parents at the time. I was a high school dropout with no job or a stable source of income. My husband worked part-time as a bagger-boy at a grocery store downtown. He worked minimum-waged hours and brought in little money. He, too, relied on others for financial support. And here we are, two young individuals in love proclaiming they’re prepared to make the next big step.
Not only was I going to be a bride, I was going to be a mother! A mother! Now that plan for a stable income just had to be in place – and quick. How were we going to support this baby? My parents did it 8 times. Surely, we can do it with one. I had no idea what the future was going to be like. I was not certain how I was going to support a little child or even afford to pay my own bills. I guess I could take on a waitressing job, I thought to myself. However, somehow, someway, I felt confident. I had no idea where to begin, but I was determined to marry the love of my life and give birth to the child that was slowly growing in me. Still, I had yet to find out firsthand what marriage was all about.
“What is marriage to you?” The question played like a broken record in my mind.
Wedding Day
I was unable to go to a salon to get a fancy hairdo so I did it myself. I had my hair in plastic curlers for hours before the wedding. About 2 hours before the wedding, I discovered my little idea of hairstyling was far from presentable. My hair fell flat and the curls I had vigorously worked hours on were nowhere to be seen. Nonetheless, I arrived at my wedding looking the best I can possible be.
I wore my wedding dress (or rather a cream-colored prom dress that I bought from the local mall) and I felt beautiful. I couldn’t believe it. I was getting married. We exchanged our vows that cold night in February, thus, marking the beginning of a new life.
After the ceremony, my husband and I looked at each other with smiles creeping up to the corners of our mouths. We were finally married.
My Definition of Marriage
It hasn’t been easy these past years. We have learned many things since we decided to step into the married life. We had so much to learn and we continue to learn new thing about marriage, as individuals, and our lives in general.
What is marriage? Well, I’ll be perfectly honest. I still don’t quite know what marriage is. I do know, however, that marriage is not just a legal contract made between two individuals in love. Have you ever tried to solve a long equation that requires an extensive amount of time and focus? Well, that’s exactly what marriage is like. This type of equation requires more than just one mind, however. Effort and cooperation is needed from both partners. You have to find what works and what doesn’t. You have to try different things to uncover the right solution. When one thing fails, you start the process all over again. You learn what works and what doesn’t. That’s my definition of marriage.
Personally, we are still trying to solve this equation so many others are also struggling with. Nonetheless, we are getting closer and closer to the answer. I do know, however, that when we do get to point, it’s going to be the best feeling of accomplishment; probably more than everything else we’ve worked hard for and accomplished.
Life itself is a never-ending equation. The equation that matters the most, however, is the ones you share with those who matter the most.
Related Posts
Thanks for reading! Here are a few of my favorite articles on Marriage from our Money Blog at Personal Money Store. Hope you enjoy them as much as I did:
- Marriage is a Contract, Not Just Love
- Marriage, Money Management, & Installment Loans
- First Gay Couple on “The Newlywed Game” | Warp Speed, Sulu!
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